Getting Prepared for R U OK? Day
Prepare for R U OK? Day with practical ways to support those struggling with mental health.
Download our guide to managing your teams mental health
R U OK? Day is a reminder that checking in on others isn’t just a once-a-year obligation—it’s an everyday skill.
Many people hesitate to ask deeper questions because they’re worried about saying the wrong thing or making things worse.
The ABC strategy offers a simple, practical framework anyone can use to support someone who’s struggling, both at work and in life.
What To Do When Someone Isn’t OK
It’s hard to know what to do when someone discloses that they are struggling. Most of us want to help but we don’t know where to begin. We can worry that talking about the problem might make it worse; that it’s none of our business; or that we might say the wrong thing.
What makes it so much harder is that everybody is different – so what helps one person might not help another.
The truth is, though, that there are some things that you can reliably do to assist someone who discloses to you that they are struggling or not OK. And luckily the things that help are pretty simple. The Australian Men’s Health Forum (AMHF) have developed a simple ABC strategy to help:
- Ask and listen
- Build a plan
- Connect to help
A — Ask and Listen
The first step is to ask and genuinely listen without judgement. This builds trust and creates space for the person to share at their own pace.
Ask about facts.
People often find facts easier than feelings. Asking “What’s been happening?” instead of “How are you feeling?” can make it easier to open up.
Use shoulder-to-shoulder conversations.
Not everyone is comfortable talking face-to-face. Conversations flow more naturally when walking, driving, gaming, running, or doing an activity together.
Choose the right moment.
A calm, private environment leads to better conversations. People open up when they feel safe and not rushed.
Expect a brush-off.
Not everyone will talk straight away. A gentle check-in still shows you’re there for them and opens the door for future conversations.
Check your own capacity.
You can’t support someone well if you’re depleted. Make sure you’re in a good place to listen.
B — Build a Plan
Sometimes listening is enough. Other times, someone might benefit from talking through a simple, practical plan.
Let emotions settle first.
Planning only works once the intensity of the moment has passed.
Keep it their plan.
They’re the expert on their own life. You can offer suggestions, but avoid pushing solutions that worked for you—it may not be right for them.
Offer help without taking over.
Small, practical support—like helping with school pickups, sharing a meal, or doing an activity together—can be more meaningful than trying to “fix” everything.
Focus on actions, not the whole problem.
Small steps make things manageable, e.g.:
- Book a GP appointment
- Schedule a counselling session
- Commit to some alcohol-free nights
These small actions help rebuild a sense of control.
C — Connect to Help
Sometimes talking isn’t enough and more support is needed. Help them identify what that next step could be.
Options include:
- Foremind or their workplace Employee Assistance Program (EAP)
- National mental health services and helplines
- A GP appointment for a mental health care plan
- Emotional support from trusted friends or family
Remember that if someone feels like they can’t stay safe, and they need immediate support, they can call 000 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
The last word
Supporting others is something most of us will want to do, but we often don’t know where to start. Keep the ABC framework in mind – ask and listen, build a plan, and connect to help – and you will be well equipped to look after someone you care about who is having a hard time.
Remember it’s not on you to fix or solve it, but even just giving someone a chance to talk to can help a lot.
You also need to look after yourself when you are helping other people, so if you want more information on what you should and shouldn’t do as a manager when looking after your team we have created a resource to provide some guidance.
Remember, it’s important to make sure you remember to put your life jacket on first before being able to support those around you, so please remember that you can always book in a counselling session to debrief, and make sure you prioritise time to do things to look after your own mental health.
Help is always available
Here are some useful resources for more help – for you and for your team:
- Lifeline – 13 11 14 and https://www.lifeline.org.au/ – offers fee, confidential, 24/7 telephone crisis support and lots of info and resources on their website
- Beyond Blue – https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ – info and support about mental health and suicide prevention
- Heads Up – https://www.headsup.org.au/ – the part of Beyond Blue that is specially developed for mental health in the workplace
This post has discussed challenging topics, which can be confronting for particular readers. If you need support, please feel free to contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or 000 if you need immediate help to stay safe.
Find out more about how Foremind is making access to mental health mainstream for workers and supporting companies manage their Psychosocial Hazard compliance!
Answers to the frequently asked questions.
Our last EAP was barely touched. Why would this be different?+
Most EAPs go unused because of how they're accessed, not because staff don't need them. Phoning a stranger, explaining yourself, then waiting weeks is enough to stop most people before they start. Foremind removes all three steps: staff see real counsellor profiles, pick someone themselves, and book the same day.
If you already have a provider, the question worth asking is what your current utilisation is. Most traditional EAPs sit in low single digits, which means you're paying for cover your people aren't reaching. If yours is being used, staff can get seen quickly, and it covers your psychosocial obligations, there's no reason to move. If not, it's worth knowing what you're getting for the spend.
Do you offer 24/7 support?+
Yes. A 24/7 after-hours crisis line means staff can reach someone immediately at any hour, including nights and weekends.
Counselling appointments are also available outside standard business hours, so shift-based and on-call teams aren't limited to a nine-to-five window. Those are two different things, and it's worth checking any provider offers both rather than just the crisis line.
Are your EAP counsellors based in Australia?+
Yes. Every practitioner on the platform holds current membership with an Australian professional body and practises under Australian standards, codes of ethics and disciplinary frameworks. There are no offshore call centres.
Practitioners hold membership with the Australian Counselling Association, the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia, or the Australian Association of Social Workers, along with a current Working with Children or Vulnerable People Check.
How much does an EAP cost?+
Pricing is usually per employee per month, based on total headcount rather than how many people use the service. Costs vary widely depending on whether sessions are bundled in and whether compliance tooling is included.
A more useful comparison is cost per employee who actually uses it. An EAP with 2% utilisation can work out several times more expensive per person helped than one that gets used. Foremind offers pay-as-you-go, inclusive session plans and compliance-inclusive plans, with discounted pricing for not-for-profits and charities.
For full breakdown of our plans, see our EAP pricing page or request a quote for a tailored proposal.
What information does an employer receive about EAP usage?+
Nothing that could identify anyone. All counselling is completely confidential and all reporting is anonymous - you'll never see who booked, when, or what was discussed.
What you do see is the aggregated picture: how many people are using it, what psychosocial risks are prevalent in the business, and which teams are under pressure. Enough to know the investment is working and where to act, never enough to identify a person. Reporting thresholds mean small teams can't be reverse-engineered from the data.
Does having an EAP meet an employer's psychosocial duty of care?+
No. An EAP is a control measure, and a valuable one, but it only addresses harm after it has occurred. It doesn't identify hazards, assess risk, or evidence that controls are working.
Australian WHS law requires you to identify psychosocial hazards, assess the risk, control it so far as is reasonably practicable, and review whether those controls are working — with documented evidence at each step. Offering counselling on its own leaves three of those four steps undocumented.
Foremind covers both in one platform. See how the compliance side works in our product tour.